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Read This. It's Important.

So, since I've invited a lot of near-strangers to my journal and I've friended just about all of them back, I feel like some ground rules (Don't look at me like that! There aren't very many!) and just some general "you might want to know"s would be a good idea.

1. FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY, DO NOT FLAME THE AUTHORS. Read more...Collapse )

2. Do not post comments linking people to the fics I'm sporking. Read more...Collapse )

3. Speaking of places that are not my journal... I reserve the right to delete any comments that I find offensive to minority groups. Read more...Collapse )

4. Please, no comments saying that the author of the fic should "never write anything ever again." Read more...Collapse )

5. PMs to me are private unless I have the permission of everyone involved to go public with them. This includes PMs from authors I'm sporking. I know that some of you like seeing things like that, but honestly you'll never know you're missing them.

6. "Your journal style is out of season." Thank you for sharing your concerns. I'll just mull over that until next December.

7. "I can't read your journal style." Tell me what the problem is and we'll work something out. I tried to get the most readable style that wouldn't make me want to shoot something, but I would like to know if I failed.

8. Eight is a free space. If you piss me off, I ban you. That's the beauty of this being my journal.

9. Everyone can comment, but I'm logging IP addresses.

10. See here for everything that I have to say about That Thing with Deleterius. (Note: I just made a pretty massive edit, so it's worth looking at again if you've already read it.)

Really, I think I'm a pretty easy person to get along with. The four THOU SHALT NOTs that I've laid down here are not that difficult to follow, at least in my mind. Let's have some fun. Sporkings are coming soon!

PS: Thank you all so much for following me back here. Really, it means a lot. :D

Sporking Master List

This one, like the last one, will be organized first alphabetically by love interest, with subcategories organized alphabetically by the Sue/Stu's name. Not every series has been completely sporked, but only the ones that say "permanently unfinished" at the end are, well, permanently unfinished. I will also note if an entire fic has been sporked.

Malfoy, Draco
1. Casey Riddle: Part One.

2. Skylar Night: Part One. Part Two.



Malfoy, Lucius
1. Caroline Malfoy: Part One. Part Two. Part Three. Part Four. Permanently Unfinished.



Riddle, Tom Marvolo
1. Harry Snape-Malfoy. Part One. Part Two. Part Three. Part Four. Part Five. Part Six. Part Seven.

Friends!

I'm f-locking all but the first chapter of my sporks. If you want to be added, just add me and I'll add you back. I'm aware it's not usually quite that easy, but this time, for now, it is. Just add me. That's all. Unless I have a really good reason to believe that I shouldn't, I'll add you back. I only want a little bit more control over who gets to see what in my journal.

Of course, since most of what little person stuff I post on this account gets f-locked anyway, that means this entire journal may as well be friends only.

FUCK YES.

So. Two wonderful things happened on Monday:

1. I got into Pottermore.

2. I got into Slytherin.


*squee!*

Also, I think one of the exclusive content chapters I read was just what I needed to finally finish that Severus/Petunia fic I started working on like last winter. :P Plus, I've got this plot bunny about Ron and Hermione and pure-blood privilege and... bleh. Oh, Pottermore. For that I'm not a fan of about you, you certainly will keep me busy for a while.

Sporking: Casey Riddle, Part Two

Sue's Name: Casey Riddle.
Sue's Parents: Lord Voldemort and his wife, who apparently turned to dust immediately after giving birth. (Voldy has that affect on a lot of people.)
Sue's Love-Interest: The very first person under the age of 30 she sees. Draco, if you must know.
Sue's Friends: Uh... Peter, maybe. He seems nice enough to her.
Sue's Background: Voldy has been out of her life for seventeen years. She is seventeen years old. She was raised in a magical orphanage, but Voldy somehow managed to keep her out of Hogwarts. Voldy found her when he returned to power, but he loves her less now. *sniffle* Also, he gets to decide who she loves. We're not quite sure who that is yet, but the Sue is damn sure that it's not Draco.
Sue's Skills: Dark arts. Wandless magic.
Sue's Eyes: No mention.
Sue's Hair: Long and black, with blood-red steaks.

Contains: Implications, and I cannot be held responsible for what your imagination does with those. Me deciding that this was boring and turning up the WTF factor a bit. Dead house-elves. Mentions of murder and torture. Neil Patrick Harris getting punched in the face.
Part One: Here.
Previous Part: Here.
Next Part: Has not been sporked yet

Sure, there were lots of pretty girls whose fathers *wouldn't* have him killed, but Draco was a bit of a thrill seeker.Collapse )

Sporking: Casey Riddle, Part One

Sue's Name: Casey Riddle.
Sue's Parents: Lord Voldemort and his wife, who apparently turned to dust immediately after giving birth. (Voldy has that affect on a lot of people, apparently.)
Sue's Love-Interest: No one at this point.
Sue's Friends: None at this point. Seventeen years of Voldemort-free existence and she didn't manage to make a single friend that we're told about.
Sue's Background: Voldy has been out of her life for seventeen years. She is seventeen years old. She was raised in a magical orphanage, but Voldy somehow managed to keep her out of Hogwarts. Voldy found her when he returned to power, but he loves her less now. *sniffle*
Sue's Skills: Dark arts. Wandless magic.
Sue's Eyes: No mention.
Sue's Hair: Long and black, with blood-red steaks.

Contains: Mentions of death and torture.
Part One: You're looking at it.
Previous Part: Does not exist.
Next Part: Has not been sporked yet.

In which the Death Eaters see something shocking... A GIRL!Collapse )

Sporking: Skye Night, Part One

Sue's Name: Skye Night.
Sue's Parents: She was raised in an Orphanage of Fear.
Sue's Love-Interest: Draco Malfoy
Sue's Friends: Everyone hates her, for reasons that are like totally not at all her fault... but just watch the way she treats Draco when he tries to be friendly to her.
Sue's Background: She's super smart and has an angsty past. You know the drill.
Sue's Skills: Her ability to frighten the older boy away implies that she likely has some degree of control over her accidental magic (or wandless magic, as that would more accurately make it), making her perhaps the most powerful child we've been introduced to since Tom Marvolo Riddle. She also managed to figure out entirely on her own that she was a witch.
Sue's Eyes: Light green.
Sue's Hair: Long and brown.

Contains: Implications of vague unfortunate things happening to children, references to a very common dub-con plot, attempted murder by and of children, and McGonagall in leather. SFW.
Part One: You are looking at it.
Previous Part: Does not exist.
Next Part: Has not been sporked yet.

In which someone is rude to Draco when he *doesn't* deserve it.Collapse )

I left fanficrants

(And sf_drama, but that's a small sacrifice.) I want to make it very clear that it was not at all for the same reason that I left the last comm I left. The problem was with me this time. I was the asshole, and ffr and sf_d were just situations in which it was coming out more than it does in my day-to-day life or even day-to-day internet interactions.

I'll still be around, on my journal (Don't think this changes anything, sporking buddies!) and on other comms, but I have a lot soul-searching and growing up to do before I'll be back at ffr or sf_d.

I'm sorry to everyone I've hurt, and I genuinely mean to work on my issues.

Sporking: Harry Snape-Malfoy, Part One

Sorry it's been a week or so. (I don't even know. xP This has been the week that never ends... But it ends in two hours! Yay!) Back to school + No meds = Cat has not been in the mood for sporking much lately. But tonight I decided that a good sporking would lift my spirits, so I decided to dig up an old fic that is probably the epitome of everything that is wrong with one of my favorite ships (and that I'm ashamed to say I've read in its entirety, even though I knew even back then that it was bad). Let's have some fun.

Stu's Name: Harry James Snape-Malfoy
Stu's Parents: James Potter, Severus Snape, and Lucius Malfoy
Stu's Love-Interest: Lord Voldemort.
Stu's Friends: This is only the beginning of the story, so he's still in the "everyone sucks" stage.
Stu's Background: I won't spoil it this time. I want you to get the full effect of reading it. Suffice it to say that right now there's a lot of the "Dumbledore is a liar, no one likes me" stuff that's so rampant in Voldy/Harry fic.
Stu's Skills: None, yet.
Stu's Eyes: Green.
Stu's Hair: Black.

Contains: Graphic effects of abuse, Mpreg, deception, and lots and lots of "wtf is this?"
Part One: This is it.
Previous Part: See above.
Next Part: Have Fun!

Please keep in mind that I like Voldemort/Harry and slash, and will get very irritated if this spork is used as an excuse to bash either. Bash the fic, and only the fic.

Snape:'I am your father!' Harry:'No! No! That's not tru—Oh! Wait! Actually, that makes a lot of sense. Brb, shagging Voldemort.'Collapse )

Sporking: Caroline Malfoy, Part One.

Read This. Also, I'm playing around with the header a bit, since I'm in my own sandbox now. It might take me a little while to figure what I prefer, but suggestions are welcome. I was never really a fan of deleterius'.

Sue's Name: Caroline Malfoy (That's a married name; Her maiden name is thus-far unknown.)
Sue's Love-Interest(s): Lucius Malfoy
Sue's Friends: Draco Malfoy, Millicent Bulstrode, Blaise Zabini
Sue's Background: She's an American who was sent to Hogwarts by her now-deceased mother, who was trying to prevent her from being killed by her drunken father. She's a pureblood Slytherin who, as of her mother's death at the hands of her father, needs to find a way to finish her schooling and support herself in England.
Sue's Skills: Healing, divination, "voice magic," singing, and dance.
Sue's Eyes: Violet
Sue's Hair: Black curls that cascade down her back

Contains: Talk of abuse, talk of death, a seventeen-year-old getting married to a man approaching fifty, sexism, and the usual suefic nonsense. This chapter is SFW, unless your boss is hanging out over your shoulder reading really closely.
Chapter One: You're looking at it.
Previous Chapter: Does not exist.
Next Chapter: Have fun!

Ah, my first Sue for 2011!Collapse )